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Sermon Notes of Rev Dr Ivor J.W.Oakley (24-5-1998
Guisborough Evangelical Church)
Additional Reading Matthew 19:1-12
Jesus is working his way through the six great
antitheses of the Sermon on the Mount. From committing adultery in the heart, he
makes the logical step to the problem of divorce. This is the third antithesis.
Jews were aware of the requirement to give a certificate of divorce, to
discourage hasty action, when it took place, though often the reasons for
divorce were trivial. But Jesus totally forbids divorce except for marital
unfaithfulness. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for
marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress (Matthew 5:32).
Divorce is permitted though not commended.
Going to look at this antithesis in conjunction with Jesus’ teaching on divorce in Matthew 19:1-12, and also a brief comment on Paul’s teaching.
Christian teaching says that marriage is not a human
invention. It was God’s idea, not man’s, and was meant for all of his
creation, and not just for his special redeemed people, although the Gospel
ennobles and strengthens it.
It is true that some are called
by him to forgo marriage – some have made themselves eunuchs, i.e. renounced
marriage for the sake of the kingdom, and remained single. In the next life,
marriage will be abolished. But at present it is to be honoured by all. Those
who forbid marriage are false teachers.
Marriage was instituted for
three purposes in the early chapters of Genesis; for procreation of children and
upbringing within love and discipline of family (Genesis 1:28); to provide
husband and wife with help and comfort from each other (Genesis 2:18); self
giving love to be expressed in “one flesh” relationship or sexual union
(Genesis 2:24).
The first reference to divorce is in Deuteronomy 24:1 If a man marries a woman who becomes displeasing to him because he finds something indecent about her, and he writes her a certificate of divorce, gives it to her and sends her from his house. This certificate included permission to remarry. It was meant to be a protection for the wife, a restraint against a husband’s hasty words and actions, and stopped a man from claiming her back when she was about to marry another. Till the certificate was written, she was still his wife and had to be cared for. Once it was written, there was no appeal against it. This still could lead to great hardship. Once sent out of the home, what could the wife do and how would she support herself, with no welfare state? The options open to her were to remarry, cohabit, prostitution, or starvation. Old Testament law demanded death penalty for adultery (Deuteronomy 22:20-22). This law fell out of use later, and it was not enforceable in Christ’s time when Romans ruled Palestine. Christ himself replaced it with divorce, and this as permission, and not a command.
In theory, in the days of Jesus, the Jews had high
ideals of marriage. It was a sacred duty to be married by the age of 20 unless
concentrating on the study of law. God’s commandment to be fruitful and
multiply had to be obeyed. So marriage was not to be delayed. Also, in theory,
divorce was hated. But practice was not always in step with the ideal.
On the basis of Deuteronomy, man
had the right to divorce and indeed the Jews believed he was commanded to do so
by God for adultery. The wife was in a much weaker position. In the eyes of
Jewish law, a woman was just a thing. A woman could not initiate divorce though
she could petition a court, which could then persuade the husband to start
divorce proceedings. A woman could commit adultery if in relationship with any
man, single or married. However, a man could only commit adultery if involved
with a married woman.
In the matter of divorce, on
what grounds could it be sought? How far could you take Deuteronomy 24:1? The
woman had to have some uncleanness or indecency against her according to
Deuteronomy. There were two schools of thought here. The School of Shammai took
indecency to mean adultery. But the School of Hillel applied it to not just the
serious matter of adultery, but to trivial things like spoiling a meal by adding
too much salt, talking to a man in the street, speaking disrespectfully to his
parents, raising her voice so that it was heard next door. Rabbi Akiba [writing
unclear] said that if a man found another woman more attractive, he could
divorce his wife. Hillel’s liberal and broad-minded approach was increasingly
popular, and divorce was increasing. The result was that some Jewish girls were
unwilling to be married because it was so insecure. The only restraint on easy
divorce was that the husband must return his wife’s dowry.
In the light of the current situation Jesus was
questioned by the Pharisees about whose side he took, Shammai or Hillel. Jesus
took neither side. He certainly did not accept the frivolous reasons for divorce
which Hillel allowed, nor the idea that divorce for adultery was required and
mandatory, which both schools of thought taught followers.
Jesus took his questioners back
to God’s original intention at creation. This was an important step, because
the Jews themselves maintained that “The more original, the weightier”.
Therefore appealing to creation outweighs Mosaic Law. Jesus reminds them
(Matthew 19:4-6) that God made them male and female, that marriage involves
leaving and cleaving, the leaving of parents and the cleaving to each other. The
result is they become one flesh. No longer two, but one flesh. What God has
joined together, let man not separate.
This is the true meaning and
solemnity of marriage. Lifelong union of closest intimacy. Not a human
arrangement to be lightly set aside. Involves sexual union, which is to be
exclusive and unbreakable and permanent. Divorce was not the original intention.
It comes later, not by way of command, which the Jews said, but by way of
permission. It allowed for the hardness of man’s heart. Not hardness of men
against wives, but hardness of men against God’s mind and will. Divorce was
not God’s original purpose. It was a concession made reluctantly because of
men’s sinfulness and weakness.
There could be only one reason
for it – marital unfaithfulness, or sexual immorality. Note that this
exception is not found in Mark or Luke’s gospels, because it was understood
that adultery automatically led to divorce in first century, and therefore there
was no need to mention it. Matthews’s account is merely spelling out what was
understood and assumed anyway. Apart from this exception, divorce was wrong, and
remarriage by husband as well as wife was adultery and therefore not a real
marriage.
What is this immorality and why is divorce permitted on
this ground? Various suggestions – fornication later discovered, sexual
perversion, adultery, marriage within prohibited degrees i.e. to close
relatives, or bestiality. The same word is used for sexual sin in general in 1
Corinthians and Colossians. It is actually reported that there is sexual
immorality among you (1 Cor. 5:1) and Put to death whatever belongs to
your earthly nature – sexual immorality…(Colossians 3:5). The Greek word
used here porneias means every kind of
unlawful sexual activity i.e. sexual sin in general. It is variously translated
in different versions as “fornication” in AV, “sexual immorality” in
NKJV, and “marital unfaithfulness” in the NIV.
Why is divorce allowed in this
case? Because it violates the “one flesh” principle and God’s purpose of
having only one sexual partner. Divorce merely recognises that the marriage
principle is ended. The new union has violated the union created by God, and
brings it to an end.
Paul supports Christ’s position on marital faithfulness in 1 Cor. 7:10. He also deals with the special situation – when two pagans marry and one later becomes a Christian. If the pagan one leaves, he is allowed to do so, though the Christian has to live with the non-Christian if the latter is willing to do so. The Christian is not bound in these circumstances. This implies that divorce and remarriage are possible.
Important to remind ourselves of Bible teaching on
marriage, in view of the ignorance and rejection and departure from it even
within the ranks of the Christian church. The Christian position appears to the
world to be obsolete, archaic, oppressive and Victorian. Marriage as lifelong
commitment or contract is a minority view in the west. The result is the moral
chaos and confusion in which we live, with lack of standards, insincerity and
unhappiness. God instituted marriage at creation to be lifelong, indissoluble,
permanent, loving commitment in which the gift of human sexuality finds
fulfilment. Sex unites husband and wife in most intimate way. No longer two
separate individuals but now in closest and most intimate relationship and
become one flesh. Closest union on earth. Precedence over claims of parents,
which hitherto had highest claim. In total union, the two personalities are to
find fulfilment and satisfaction and contentment. Each completes the other.
Though the male is the leader,
it is a union of equals. Man is not to be a tyrant. Marriage is not a casual
arrangement and social convention. It is the Creator’s design for man’s
good. “Human society is strong and happy only where the marriage bond is held
in honour” (words from the wedding service).
So promiscuity, celibacy within
marriage, unnatural vices, and break up are contrary to God’s design. There is
place for divorce if there is sexual immorality, according to Jesus, though it
is never commanded or encouraged. Every effort should be made to save the
marriage. It is last desperate resort. Much emphasis in the New Testament on
love and forgiveness – remembering we are all sinners. But when all else
fails, there is place for divorce of there has been sexual immorality.
In that sin, especially
adultery, the “one flesh” principle is violated and one partner is united to
someone else. The link has gone and one flesh no longer exists. Therefore
divorce is permitted – but not commanded.
Because man and woman who have
been divorced are free, they are entitled to remarriage. Connection no longer
exists. Relationship to former partner is the same as if they were dead. Martin
Lloyd Jones says not only is innocent party entitled to remarriage, but if a
Christian, entitled to Christian remarriage.
What if other partner is still living – can there still be remarriage? This is very controversial. Some say that the vows made still stand whatever happens. Others say that when a vow has repeatedly been broken, to say that the contract repeatedly broken still exists is simply closing eyes to reality. It is unrealistic to say two people are still husband and wife when one has new partner and may even be rearing children. Never treat failure in marriage as if it is one failure for which there is no full forgiveness and no chance to start over again.
What is the relation of all this
to the grace of God and Gospel of Christ? It has very real relevance here. The
Gospel says Christ bore our sins, including sexual sins in thought, word and
deed (and all involved here), in his body on the tree. The debt was paid. The
punishment was borne. There is freedom and forgiveness for a believing
repentant. Need that forgiveness not only once at conversion, but also
repeatedly throughout Christian life.
The Christian has new life and
new power, but can still fail. There are resources available to Christians which
are not available to others. If not used, it does not mean they do not exist,
but that people are too proud and disobedient to use them. He may strengthen
you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell
in your heart by faith (Ephesians 3:16-17). If anyone is in Christ, he is
a new creation (2 Cor. 5:17). The fruit of the Spirit is love…
patience, kindness… gentleness and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). Be
filled with the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18).
Not only need Christ’s
teaching, but Christ himself, not just as a teacher but as a Saviour from the
guilt and power of sin. His Gospel is the power of God for the salvation of
everyone who believes (Romans 1:16).
If the person whose marriage has failed, and ended in
divorce, has a broken sense of failure and guilt and shame, let him remember the
Gospel.
